Saturday, 24 June 2023

The Rhizomatic City

 The 16th floor

The day is getting along

I am the last on the floor

Four Zoom meetings in a row

I am tired

A typical scenario these days. Coming into the office had broken my cosy pattern of remote working, where I could control my space, tune in or tune out, multi-task. It had been an easy form of existence for over two and a half years. Today, a refreshing bike ride, hot shower, and elevator ride up to the 16th of 25 floors at Lonsdale near Spring.

Grey clouds with pink, purple hues are emerging in the late afternoon. My desk in the open plan office looks out to the southwest of Melbourne’s CBD. I remembered how beautiful it was and why I had chosen this spot. We are above most nearby buildings. I sit, look, and drift, You Yangs in the distance, clouds moving slowly. The sound of mobile ringing brings me back to now.

 

“Yes”

“Yes”

“That is very tragic”

 

“Send some details though….text or email….and any further information as it comes to hand in coming days”.

 

“Yes, of course. Call me if any issues crop up. I’m available, even afterhours”

 

I sit hunched over, mobile phone in hand, blindly gazing at the unnoticed sunset.

Then hanging up with desensitised sadness, the fading light coming back into view.

 

Later elevator descending

toward ground and beyond

to the subterranean

change rooms now empty

and finally bike ride home.

Below pavement

Digging had gotten frantic in the last week or so as the deadline approached. It was an impossible archaeological gift, a precious opportunity to explore the history of Little Lon, sealed for decades beneath the bitumen. Today was the last day. The finds so far had been remarkable and revealing. The history of the area well documented in fact and fiction, evoking romantic notions of Melbourne.

Plates, old medicinal bottles, figurines, the tossed out, left behind, and abandoned, all hidden signs of life. In a month or so the trucks, bulldozers, diggers, cranes, and people would swarm until new buildings would tower, straddling Spring, Lonsdale, and Little Lonsdale Streets.

History would then fill pages, boxes, displays and collections. A treasure trove of opportunities to fill the historical gaps in the organicity of Melbourne’s evolution. Imagining the people and city interwoven with each other, moving in asynchronous harmony, co-dependant and influential of each other, he sensed the aliveness in the rhizome of connected elements: People, buildings, institutions, stories, contents.

He enjoyed losing himself in such ambiguous and absurd notions of a living city.

Suddenly a yell, shouting him out of the trance.

 

Torches blazed around them. It was midnight, well beyond the endpoint of the last day.

No one disturbed them from their scraping, brushing, and puffs of care.

The box was ordinary and yet profoundly misplaced amongst the other artifacts.

Years, decades, perhaps even a century older than its neighbours.

 

Within glass sealed containment, his gloves slowly and gently unclipped the unlocked timber box.

Inside a scrap of pelt, soft and pliable.

Preserved without story.

 

Town

His son was talking in his sleep again when he arrived home past midnight. It no longer had the urgency of months ago.

He was worried. Little Lon was changing and so was his family. 8 years of work at the butchers, night after night as demands within the city grew exponentially. Meat carved, dressed, layered, made ready for market, at morning 5.

Their stone brick home of 2 bedrooms, kitchen, and sitting room housed the 6 of them. Rent rising at a greater speed then pay. Neighbours drifting away. Dirty courtyard to play, toilet, and bathe in. The stink and noises desensitizing senses.

He was only 3. Bright, busy, and seemingly unstopping from morning to night. The older ones knew their duties. They were only children, yet they had seen the misery, dirt, destitution around the lanes and knew to protect. Casselden Place was out of bounds but sometimes the boy could not be stopped.

He had tripped over the still warm body, minutes beyond life.

In fear and muteness had the sisters found him, with women and their brutes standing in silent witness.

Blood-soaked clothes, and blank eyes, he had arrived home.

Police went through the motions. He was only 3. No one was arrested. It was the third murder that year.

Sleep came easily tonight despite the sounds of life in the alleys and lanes. The Golden City of Bendigo would soon home them all.

 

Country

It was unusual to see children amongst the convicts, soldiers, settlers, and merchants. Tents and wooden structures clung to the Yarra’s edge. Noise, buildings, people, and the bush beyond. 

To the 10-year-old it was magnetic. Ahead of any fear, he was on a track going up the slight incline though the bush. No thoughts of mother or father and even less, his annoying baby sister. There were different sorts of quiet sounds. The smells, the trees, a kangaroo!

He followed and followed.

The summer sun was dipping but he kept moving ever forward. Animal and child connected in land.

Suddenly there did not seem to be anything and fear of the absent noises took hold. He ran and ran.

 

Night had fully arrived.

Tears and exhaustion drained strength, while laying on soft eucalyptus leaves.

Sleep arriving as the moon light appeared.

Dreams of wild waves and yawning deck.

Then soft gentle and smiling kind hands.

Warmth of fur settling deep sleep.

 

“My child”, “my child”, the mother cried in relief.

Warmly wrapped up in a pelt and sleeping peacefully, child on the doorstep in the cold morning.

Wednesday, 21 June 2023

Silence

 We walked through the night.

Two old men.

One a baby

One as old as the earth’s crust

Stars only

Old in front

Onwards always it seemed.

 

A glow gave them pause.

Cool breeze warning of heat ahead

 

Dry hot and sleepy

The midday spoke.

Hot and dry

Sleepy windless landscape

 

 The old one woke the young one.

The two old men began the twilight walk.

One guiding

One following

 

The second night brought creatures.

Sounds of water

Oasis in the dessert

Hidden deep in country from the young old man.

A deeply etched mark in the mind and land of the old old man.

 

 

 

Silence

 

The way back to town was swift it seemed but not really.

 

When had the young one spent days in silence.

The quiet was not quiet.

The dessert spoke constantly.

Mind and land and nature relationality connected.

 

They arrive and stand side by side looking back in silence at the days 

Sunday, 18 June 2023

Secret truth

 

We can not help but to communicate in some way. There are those who must tell their stories, even to strangers. The urge to tell. The energy and impulse become so great; they just blurt it out like water falling to fill the space. Silence.

There are those, few but enough that throw out stories, mis trust, deception to retrain a dark part of themselves. A part which pains or frightens. A secrete part closely guarded. Invulnerable.

Perhaps shared with only one other soul. The stuff of identity and being.

The funny thing is that thrown out lies are a magical type of mirror to the secrete truth.

Some lies are obviously the opposite, particularly when spoken under stress.

But when the lie is spoken with planning. The words show a trace, a faint echo of the real truth. The truth sometimes so clear that on confrontation is denied and then pushed deeper.

Lies are an important part of our world. We trade in lies. It slows us the truth. That is our work.

Thursday, 15 June 2023

Will you marry me again

 Will you marry me again

Will you complete my life
Will you journey across time and
With me create a future for our time
I live and love
I breathe and move
I see and think
We share
We move
We breathe and think
Together
Will you marry me again and again

Train

 

A couple stops with bags by their sides. Crowds of young and old families, police, some beggars, continual pass them by. The board has not shown the ticket gate yet.

 

Tears in her eyes.

 

"can't you come with me. 2 months off work. Just you and I."

 

He nods silently and smiles. "Goodbyes are hard. It will be like a weekend away from each other. I will see you soon". He replies.

 

She dries her eyes." Go now the train number is up. I will want to cry. go now".

 

Giving her one last hug and deep long kiss. Softness of his lips on hers. A touch of his fingers on her arm.

Away he turns.

 

Each 10 m or so he waves back and moves on to the train which will begin his long journey home.

 

Another turn and he can see her arms above the crowd in the distance waving.

 

He boards the train, sits opposite an elderly Asian couple and stares and out of the window.

 

 

She can see the First and the second wave. Tall above the increasing crowd between them. Tears and an ache deep down she knows will subside, but wants it to last for a bit longer.

 

Gate number. Long walk with other travelers. Seat by the window. Journey from home ahead

Eat up the world

 

Eat up the world.

Be as human as you need.

Enter the cave of your consciousness.

And save the world tomorrow.

The source of light will only illuminate our narrow knowledge,

so, get behind the source of illumination and see until it hurts!

Gravity

 there is no life without gravity

there are no systems without gravity
there are no relationships without gravity
there is no time without gravity

existence is gravity
time is gravity
love is gravity
motion is gravity

beginning and end?
continuous loops?
scales of magnitude?
gravity is being and existence

where does gravity not exist?
when does gravity not exist?
how can gravity not exist?

there is no gravity only outside our university

The Garden

 Water

Stone
Plant
Movement melting into nature
Constructions moving between designs desire and creation

Views of the beholder
Changing and encompassing
Beyond the garden canvass
Greens and yellows and reds and stone of autumn

Coldness welcoming time to stand still for a moment

Lighted rock and ripples
Reflecting mirror image
Of hill, island and pine

Lovely fish exploring pool
World at the end of the days

Til Birth Day

It was all a bit of a misunderstanding. But let me begin at the start which happens to be at the end. Oh, what confusion.

 

Ambiguity

Ambivalence

Anarchy

To celebrate a birthday’s reversal

To celebrate a death

To embrace the change in chaos

Words with exploding meanings

Insufficient to measure and categorically define with certainty.

 

So, it began with a fight with my mother and father. I love them dearly now but then it was a different story. At the time I both hated and loved them passionately. It tore at my soul and tried to destroy me.

 

MetaphysiKant please show me the way to my Self.

To the bottle

Of cheap vodka

On the shoreline of the sea

Midnight silently calls

I am floating yet aware enough

I will sink to the bottom

Should I step forth

Across to eat the moon

 

But how did you cope with the smashing internal ambivalence?

I drank, took risks, and approached the edge. I lived for some years with tranquillity-tinged destruction.

But you survived! How did you get through the mind-field?

 

They glowed brightly.

An invisible glorious colour around them but only visible for ME!

A glow and brightness

Attracting one singular moth

Which was but ME!

I fell

I loved

I changed

The calm desire for the deep

Replaced by heat and sand

A creation dragging us inevitably towards WE.

 

I still don’t get it. How did you desire. How did you live. How did you become A live.

Well quite simply I became WE and she became ME!

 

Heart beating

Skin touching with fingers interlaced

Breaths synchronized as well

Stars clear

Ground firm and soft

Calm

I becoming we, as we lie laying together

Staring into universal infinity

Til Day Birth

 

So is that the end of the story. What of the parents who precipitated the dangerous path you began upon.  You say you love them but is that a truth?

I hang my mind with down cast eyes. It is true. Things were never the same again. We get along but I am not sure I can entirely forgive them.

 

Am I the person today I was yesterday or at the start of my time?

Am I a shadow paper, repeatedly palimpsest written with experience accumulated?

Am I me when I am with them?

Am I another,4 decades since the rupture?

Am I still me when we are together?

Am I separated in time and space from another?

Am I just a bunch of questions without practical motive?

 

It is late. I have been writing as is my habit. I notice the quiet. It has been a long time since I have heard you speak. A coldness creeps over me. Something I have not experience for a long long time. Your voice. When did I last hear your voice. I can remember. Today? Last week? A year ago? I close my eyes and remember fingers entwined. I gently dream in the late evening hour. You are gone. I know it. Our conversations have held me here. Tiredness. Softness. Gentle calm arrives as I imaged it would one day. Today may be the day, I smile. The inevitable end of days and end of our story.

 

They loved each other

Fortunes discovery gave them a life together

They will be missed but remain in our heart

Our dear parents who rest peacefully here

Memory. Fragmented. Part2

 Her mother’s memory was waning. At 92 it was not a surprise Her beautiful strong elegant mother. The one who had protected her, watched a...